Stressed, Tired, Rushed: Portrait of the Modern Family

                These days, children are more likely to grow up in a family where both parents work. In nearly 2/3 of all two-parent families, both parents work full time. This shows that our family structure has changed, but research shows that public policy and workplace structures have not changed to accommodate a time where both parents work. Working parents often express feelings stressed, tired, rushed, and say that they have a limited about of quantity time with children, friends, partners, or hobbies. College-educated parents and white parents are more likely to express that managing work and family life is more difficult than parents of other backgrounds. Fifty-six percent of working parents say that balancing home and work life is difficult, and those who do are more likely to say that parenting is tiring and stressful, and less likely to find it always enjoyable and rewarding. Half of those parents that said balancing work and family life was easy said that parenting was enjoyable all the time, compared to the 36% of those who said balancing was difficult.

                Of full-time working parents, 39 percent of mothers and 50 percent of fathers say they feel like they don't spend enough time with their children. Fifty-nine percent of full-time working moms say they don't have enough free time to relax, and more than half of working fathers agree. Of parents with college degrees, 65 percent said they found it difficult to balance work and family life, with 49 percent of nongraduates agreeing. While the author did not investigate why, one reason might be that professional workers are more likely than hourly workers to be expected to work even after they leave the office. However, they also tend to have more flexibility during the day.The author found that white parents were more than 10 percentage points more likely to express stress than nonwhite parents. Historically, white and black mothers have been more likely to work outside the home than Asian and Latina mothers, and foreign-born mothers have been particularly likely to stay home. In 46 percent of all two-parent households, both parents work full-time, according to the author, up from the 31% it was in 1970. The number of households with a mom who stays home has declined from 46% to 26%. The author surveyed a nationally representative sample of 1,807 parents in every state using both landlines and cellphones.  Other data also show that working parents are the new normal with 60% of children now living in households where all the parents at home work at least part time, up from 40% in 1965. Forty-one percent of working moms said that being a parent made it harder to advance in their careers, compared with 20% of the fathers. Men's careers took priority more often than women's did, though the majority said they were equal. Dads earned more than moms in half of full-time working families, the same as moms in about a quarter and less than mothers in a quarter.

                Studies show that women do the majority of the child care and housework even when parents work full time. In terms of child care, women are more likely to manage the mental checklists of their children's needs and schedules. Fathers don't seem to believe this though as they are more likely to say that the housework and childcare are divided equally when compared to mothers, where 56% of dads say they share responsibilities equally while only 46% of mothers agree. Fathers and mothers are much more likely to equally share in doing household chores, disciplining children and playing with them. In "The Seconds Shift" written by sociologist Arlie Russel Hochschild described the burden that mothers often face since they are responsible housework, childcare, and managing a job. Journalist Jennifer Senior wrote a book called "All Joy and No Fun" talking about how little has changed since Hoschild's book came out in 1989. Senior wrote that working parents still feel similar stressed, but they now have to deal with the expectations of modern parenthood shared with fathers too. Government time-use data show that parents over all do less housework and spend more time with their children than they used to.  The time dad spend on paid work has decreased to 38.5 hours a week from 42 hours in 1965, while the time they spend on housework has doubled to 8.8 hours and the time they spend on child care has tripled to over 7 hours.  Policies like paid family leave, after-school child care, and workplace child care would significantly ease parent stress.